Do you have The Facebooks?

I wrote this on the "About Me" section of my brother's facebook page when I decided to open it up to friends and family. I'm not going to name the page here since Bryan didn't want his ex finding it and neither do I (not that I'd add her anyway), but if we're friends on facebook and you want to add my brother, it's easy: his profile is listed as my brother. Anyway, I'm posting this here because I like the insight it gives into both my brother Bryan and the relationship we had, and this allows my words to be accessible to those who don't know my brother.




I once tried to convince my brother to use facebook, because I missed talking with him as much as we did on Myspace, and I missed reading his blog so easily and readily. I had closed my Myspace profile and refused to get another, but Bryan refused to actively participate in setting up a Facebook profile and the only way he would have one is if I set it up for him. Bryan had his principles, but he'd relinquish under the onslaught of a nagging sister willing to do the work for him.

So I set this profile up for B a year before he passed away. However, he couldn't figure out how to make it work, and he wouldn't let me add friends for him (to encourage him to use it) because he didn't want his ex-girlfriend finding it and having access to his life. In true Bryan fashion he said screw this and refused to use his facebook. And since I was his only FB friend, no one ever knew he had it.

However, because I created it, and he couldn't figure out the magic that happens when you actually read a FB email address change verification email and follow the instructions, I still have access to it.

My brother passed away on February 27th, 2011. I kept the knowledge of his FB profile to myself because I didn't want to hurt or shake anyone by seeing his chosen internet identity. But if you're reading this, you know of his passing and you're likely searching for a place to leave him messages of love and rememberence. Our mom suggested it would be kind to invite his loved ones to do just that.

I know Bryan would love it if you did. Bryan was a wonderful storyteller, he could make me laugh so hard I couldn't catch a breath to make any noise, and the next instant bring me to a humbled moment of tearful reflection. I loved my brother very much, as did so many people, and he loved us with a vibrant intensity I have yet to find in another. And I hope this page can reflect that love.

-Michelle Maeller
08/26/2011